Month: July 2020

When all is dark…

~ arthra

I’ve recently had a conversation with a friend, reflecting on the loss and sadness and the despair it causes in us. It was quite a deep and meaningful topic to me as I have recently recovered from depression that was caused by deep personal loss, as well as simultaneous problems professionally.

The topic was the benefit of experiencing sadness. It sounds rather absurd as sadness and gloom is something we all wish to avoid – and personally I don’t wish to go through it again – but during those dark times I was able to ponder and think deeply about things I would never do when I am happy and all is sunshine in life.

I was able to be honest with myself and feel things I normally do not. Being able to see life in a different perspective and in some ways a more authentic view made me into a deeper person because of it. Sadness and despair are part of life. But we can use those opportunities to bring out in us the sweetness and beauty that would only come from these trying, difficult times.

I’ve read somewhere that experiencing hardships in life is like crushing a flower in order to release and create a wonderful perfume – so long as we don’t let the experience ruin us but we use it to strengthen us to be a wiser, more deeper version of ourselves.

As C. S. Lewis said,

Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.

Even in nature, a rainbow only exists because of the rain. The darkness may seem to never end and at times it really is difficult to see even the faintest speck of light. But hold on, use these moments to look deep within yourself and discover the hidden strength you never knew you had. The strength to be weak and humble. This will cause you to better connect with others and with life itself.

And never be afraid to reach out to a friend and have those deep conversations that you may not normally have. Discover a deeper, newer, and better you.

Purpose & Happiness

~ arthra

I was continuing my reading of the book, “The Art of Happiness: A handbook for living” by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler and was hit by a passage that mentioned, “the purpose of our existence is to seek happiness”.

For awhile I thought I had read it wrong as I thought it sounded very self-centered and egocentric. But upon reading further it actually started to make sense and for the first time I understood what that meant.

In the book it mentioned about countless research that was done that actually showed that unhappy people tend to be more self-centered and withdrawn.

One interesting experiment was done to demonstrate how happy people tend to exhibit qualities of openness and willingness to reach out and help others. The experiment was done by inducing “happiness” in a test subject by arranging for someone to unexpectedly find money or by having the subject listen to a comedy album thereby “lifting” their spirits. They then posed as strangers to walk by and “accidentally” dropped a load of papers. The investigators were looking to see if the test subjects would stop and help the stranger. They discovered that the subjects who were feeling happy were more likely to go out of their way to help someone in need.

So the Purpose of life is really is Happiness, True happiness and not the kind of instant gratification or temporary pleasure. True inner happiness where, no matter the surrounding circumstance, we can make a conscience decision to be happy and at peace.

Slowly but surely I am learning to take each moment of everyday to be truly grateful and happy, no matter the circumstance. Through the hardships and loss I’ve recently experienced I have found again the buried treasure I had lost. Happiness is a state of mind. A state of mind I have full control over. It just takes practice. It takes being open and honest with myself and those around me. It takes authenticity.